


You Don't Choose Your Potions Partner

by depressingbrew



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Recovery, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, what even else do i tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 18:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15779946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/depressingbrew/pseuds/depressingbrew
Summary: Steve has a lot going on.You see, for 17 years he was considered a Squibb. Recently orphaned and found by a famous wizard (Erskine), he picked him (Steve!), as his prized guinea pig to perform an ultra top secret potion on him. IT worked, and Steve has probably too much magical power to be alive but that's not important. What is important is some faction of dark lord worshippers called Hydra murdered the guy and everyone is convinced Steve is a mass weapon of destruction. Fun. But the good news is, he's allowed to attend his dream school, Hogwarts. Except now this guy won't stop giving him a death glare from across the great hall. Oh yeah, and he's his potions partner.





	You Don't Choose Your Potions Partner

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I hate editing.  
> This has already crashed once yikes.  
> Maybe I'll make some art for this.
> 
> I had an anxiety attack right a few days after I posted this because I realized the description had some false terminology because I cough wrote this in one night. HaH   
> PFT I also tagged it as F/M man. I'm going on vacation in 3 days. for 4 months. I know long vacay.

It was his first day.

Oh boy, were people staring.

You see, ‘Transfer Students’ weren’t very common in Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In fact, Steve was the first one in over a century. It had all been because of a coincidence.

Well not really, you see, it's a long story, and Steve was never really a storyteller. He’d grown up in a different household. His mother, Sarah, was indeed a Witch, but she worked in a muggle hospital healing muggles and addressing the occasional old broad that wandered in just for her wizarding expertise. Although she worked a muggle job, she was a fantastic Witch. His father, on the other hand, was a muggle, and had died in a muggle war. He still remembers late at night watching her cradle his picture, finger tracing the glass, eyes have memorized his movements. Although she never missed him in front of Steve, she never let the pictures acquire a spec of dust. Steve had grown up seeing the Wizarding world through a window. He was particularly ill as a child, and to all the help a Witch can do, Muggle illnesses may be a mystery to all.

So Steve grew up with muggles, in a muggle world secretly practicing whatever little magic his body was able to withstand. For the most part, he accepted his Squibb life. It was only when Doctor Erskine (one of the most respected Wizards and Alchemist of the time), stumbled upon Steve saving a child who’d fallen in the road, and yet no muggles had noticed his action. Now that he thinks about it, when he says it out loud, what he signed up for was rather shifty sounding, but Steve was well aware of Erskine’s prestige, he’d read many of his publishings. Well all of them. 

Eager to finally be a part of a world he’d just seen from the sidelines for so long, Steve agreed to be the test subject for Super Serum. From there Steve went through a series of spells, potions, charms and who knows what. Along the way, they changed American wizarding warfare permanently Finally the last potion he took had been the final product. He was bigger and more powerful, a spell for a spark could start a forest fire if he wasn’t careful. Steve had always thought he was a Squibb, very little magical power because of how weak his body was. He felt himself crying as he looked over to see the joy in Erskine's face.

And that’s when Hydra- a scattered rival of generational worshipers of The Dark Lord- killed Erskine. It was two words, a killing curse. To get him out of the way, and in hushed secret, get to Steve.

In the mayhem, someone grabbed his arm and apparated away with him, they. He could see they were in some rundown barn now that the apparition sickness cleared. Steve later learned all about Hydra, the side of the wizarding world his mother had neglected to mention, maybe for his own safety. How in the moments, in this new foreign body in the cold barn Steve missed her more than ever. After the mayhem was cleared, where Steve went was the main issue. He had no family and would be a magical freak of a street rat. Despite all the high wizards circling around him, Steve was left alone again. Everyone wanted Steve like an object, a genius creation. To use him.

It had only been of Howard Stark (the name of the man that saved him from the hands of hydra), a man from a prestigious old wizarding family, offered him a spot at Hogwarts- the number one school for wizards- saying he had connections with Headmaster Fury and it’d give him a place to learn how to use his power. Steve was eager to ground himself and find a temporary new home, and Howard was really the only person Steve knew at the moment.

Of course, now he's at such an esteemed school for wizards.

At the entrance ceremonies.

Standing at a podium.

Being introduced as Erskine’s successor (when he was no near as intelligent), and a transfer student.

What the Hell. He almost wants to run away and say nevermind he doesn’t want to be a wizard. That would be easy in his mind, but then he thought of his mother’s fuming face when he had been rejected at age 11 to a lesser institution due to poor health, and lack of presented abilities. How proud would she be today.

Even if he got in 6 years late.

And was a year lower than he was supposed to be, so he had time to catch up. Also running away wasn’t really Steve’s style, he was too stubborn, but the thought was sort of a comfort. Although the more he thinks about it, there isn't really a ‘running away’ option after being a magical guinea pig, running away would probably just let someone he rather not, find him instead. Hogwarts seemed cozy. Until you realize that everyone is gossiping about you and you're the single center of attention when you’ve always been too short to even reach the edge of the spotlight. And yes that's a height joke. He can still do that right?

Everyone looked at him with wonder as the sorting hat went on a spiel of never being placed on an intellectually advanced mind aka a cheater, and then some embarrassing things about puberty. Finally to place him in Gryffindor. He thinks that’s okay? Some of the most renowned wizards came from it right? The head professor of Hufflepuff, Coulson, shook his hand merely, saying what a fan of what he accomplished he was (although Steve had just really been a happy accident, and he really did nothing but be stupid and allow people to tamper with his magic and body). He finally sat down with the other 5th years, (after meeting most the staff), and everyone stared at him through the rest of the beginning of the year speeches. Steve just stared straight forward at Headmaster Fury as he grumbled on about staying out of the forest and away from the lake and to beware anyone who vandalizes the whomping willow will reach a hard punishment. It was when the endless amounts of food appeared in front of him that everyone got up and shifted tables. He was surprised to see so many older students move to other house tables. This was so unlike what he was lead to believe from stories.

It was then when a boy from Gryffindor with a shiny badge, a shorter boy from Hufflepuff and an intimidating girl from Slytherin approached him, they ended up just squeezing in next to him. “Hi, I’m Sam. You can come to me with questions. That's Clint, and...” He trails off letting the girl pick up herself, “Natasha, a pleasure.” She reached out a delicate hand. Upon shaking it Steve knew that hand could probably end him with a flick.

“Nice to meet you guys.” He said, thinking to himself this friend making thing wasn’t always this easy… right? Sam smiled sheepishly like he was unsure of him, or all of this together. His eyes darted to Natasha, to him and then back to Natasha who promptly rolled hers and sighed.

“Look, Steve. I’m gonna be blunt here, you know how strange you are right? In this situation?” She says as if shes amused by it all.

“Well I know nobody really starts Hogwarts their 5th year?”

“Yeah, and nobody even takes gap years here, not even Brainwashed Barnes,” Clint said but too soon received an elbow from Natasha to the face and Sam stomping on his foot from across the table. 

“Clint if I hear that phrase come from your body- even if you're farting it in your sleep- I will not be afraid to end you.” She said icily. Sam crossed his arms.

“Anyways, word of the street is Dr. Erskine is going to be on the OWLs as a tribute. Not that we're just here for that but… what Fury said was true right? You're his predecessor?” Sam gushed.

“Well uh, I only knew him for a few months of trials and tests and set up, during that time I was only able to learn limited magic… I uh was pretty much a Squibb before, y’know. But Dr. Erskine was patient but we didn’t have enough time to get too far… I got a lot of catching up and extra lessons to do.” He didn’t really know how to break it to them that he really wasn’t this talented wizard they all thought he was, he was the success of new series of potions and charms. He really didn’t even train with Dr. Erskine that long. “I’m sorry I really don’t know much more than that is in his writing, I’m not really good at explaining things like that so I can’t really help you guys, sorry.” Steve expected them to get up disappointed. He knew the OWLs were important and he had a lot of catching up to do himself.

“Dude why are you sorry? It wasn’t even really about the OWLs stuff, plus I don’t study.”

“Yeah, you wing everything,” Sam added.

“Steve, we’re not here because you're famous, or might know some inside scoop, although yes any information you might know would be great, we’re here because you look like you need a friend,” Natasha said hand caringly on his bicep, hitting his anxiety in the bullseye.

“Yeah, and if you're worried about studies, Sam’s a goody-goody, see the badge? He's like a hall monitor or something.” Clint said to only be punched in the arm by Sam afterword.

“Prefect! Gosh, I should of never even thought about it. I’m pretty sure a first year wiped a booger on my robes. I’m here to help with any lessons and questions, but for anything outside of book smarts really goes to Natasha.” She shrugged in agreement.

“And I, of course, am the one for secret passageways when you're late to class,” Clint said proudly.

“More like you just like living in the vents,” Natasha said. Sam laughed at the joke.

“I’m also good at herbology and anything living from beasts to which babes are taken.” He said somehow regaining his momentum. The other two rolled their eyes. They chatted and made their way through dinner. A few of their friends stopped by to say something, but it all seemed like they just wanted to size Steve up.

Even Tony Stark made his fashionably late appearance. He apparently bewitched a suit of armor to fly him here. Nobody quite believed him but Sam later explained Tony Stark did all kinds of unbelievable things, even for the Wizarding world, so he may of very well did so, despite everyone’s reluctance to believe his wild tale. 

Natasha then told him Sam was very gullible.

“Hey Steve-O, glad to see you again, form them uh yeah. Sorry, I’m not graceful with feelings.” Tony said stopping by their table. He had stayed at the Stark Manor until school began.

The bright ginger haired girl also adorning Ravenclaw robes snorted “You got that right.” He then turned back to sweet talk her and she was rolling her eyes.

“Anyways how are you doing?”

“Better, Thank you, Tony.” He said with a smile, Tony nodded awkwardly and he and the ginger girl everyone called Pepper moved on to a meek boy at the end of the Ravenclaw table he referred to as “Brucey-bear”. He looked like he was about to turn in on himself for a few minutes but then he relaxed into what seemed to be a riveting conversation.

The night when on and Sam and he finally made their way back to the common room. He was lucky enough to find himself in the same room as Sam. Sam said that was probably on purpose. They also shared the room with Rhodey who was apparently Tony Stark’s best friend and second keeper, when Pepper was busy. He had taken flight to Hogwarts in the second set of armor that night and had missed most of the feast cleaning up the mess that their grand entrance made. Apparently Tony was useless when it came to things like that, despite his efforts. The last person in their room was T’challa, who was the Prince of an all wizard nation of Wakanda. He was there studying the world of magic outside of his country, hoping to bring back more wisdom for his people on how to share their culture and society with the rest of the wizarding world. Steve was thoroughly exhausted. He had met far too many people, who all seemed welcoming but he couldn't but help feeling just a bit left out.

Steve’s classes were doubled, between catching up in all sorts of magic, and 5th year content preparing for O.W.L.s, his divide in knowledge from advanced to basics in insane. Performance wise in classes he picks up easy but all the technical knowledge he's lacking in. Its when its 4th block (and last for the day), potions class, they share with Slytherin.

The first instruction was to pair up with someone who isn't in your house. It was only until Steve realized all the Slytherins were avoiding him. They were also all staring at him. Fun.

Sam mouthed apologies profusely whisper yelling something about Natasha and him had been partners since day once and had made a pact because they had both been on the other end of horrible partnerships. And you just don’t break wizard pacts. Steve nodded, it’s not like they meant to ditch him, and he should have seen it coming, all of his other classes went perfectly fine, besides none of the material making much sense.

“Does anyone not have a partner?” Professor Pym called to the room, looking like he hated this whole process as much as Steve was at the moment. Steve meekly raised his hand.

“Anyone else?”

“Professor, Barnes is the only other person, Patricia is still in the hospital wing.” He sighed and everyone’s heads whipped around to look wide eyed towards the back corner of the room. “Very well, Barnes, you’ll have to stand in as his partner.” Steve turned his head towards the back corner where everyone’s eyes were glued. The boy in question had long chestnut hair that covered his face and made it down to his shoulders, a little longer in the back. He wasn’t sure how it wasn’t against dress code. Everyone watched the boy silently pack up all his stuff and with a single gloved hand, he grabbed his cauldron. He heard Sam whisper ‘Oh no’ from the table behind him and then Natasha step on his foot, causing him to make a muffled, mangled sort of noise. The tone of Sam’s voice and the silence in the classroom as everyone watched the boy move set a bucket of nerves in Steve’s stomach. Not only did this guy look like something out of a nightmare, he could see even Professor Pym’s apologetic look. As Barnes approached the table Professor Pym cleared his throat.

“Alright now that everyone has a partner, everyone turn to page 12, We’ll be skipping around just a bit, we’re going to do a bit of a familiar one to start off the term.” As he explained Steve’s new partner set up his equipment and began messing with his cauldron Steve wasn’t sure if he should be copying whatever his partner was doing or listening to the professor, it seemed as if his partner had already started their task before the instructions were delivered. Steve looked around to see that everyone seemed to be sharing a cauldron, thankfully he wouldn’t have to recreate whatever his partner was doing. It was when the professor released them to start that his partner stood upright and b-lined to the storage room.

Steve confusedly looked back to his new friends, Sam began praying for him oddly enough and Natasha mouthed ‘go with it’. Steve turned around and began reading the instructions to confirm his partner had got their pot to simmer while Professor Pym was talking. As Steve looked up he emerged with the ingredients. Steve looked at his book and back to what the boy was holding in his arms. He sat down wordlessly.

“Hi, I’m Ste-” The boy cut him off by holding up the first vial in Steve’s face. Steve was so confused about what this boy was doing. He was whipping around like a mad dog yet still it seemed like he was slowing himself to let Steve catch up. What he was holding up must have been the first ingredient listed because he had measured out 1 ounce into a small mixing bowling, and it was the only thing with one ounce. When he was done he set the leftovers in front of Steve, He held every ingredient up to him and then showed him the amount and quickly made his way through the first part.

It was only then that everyone else had found their way into the storage room. He then stirred the pot the right amount and it was time to add a few more things, although this time he slid the first ingredient over to Steve. Steve looked up and the boy seemed to already be onto something else. Steve began crushing the exotic bean slowly like Barnes had done for a previous ingredient. The instruction had the exact same wording so it was probably safe to assume. He then noticed that the boy was secretly watching him out of the corner of his eye, making sure he did it right. He didn’t really understand why this is all they could communicate by, but he wasn’t going to let it ruin his first day. He decided that Natasha's advice made a lot of sense now. As he dealt with the first one, the boy slid him the next ingredient.

The third one called for a fine chop and apparent he hadn’t done it finely enough because he boy held his hand out for the knife and Steve passed it a little reluctantly to see the boy finish off that part but leave Steve to sprinkle it like said. When he was done the potion looking like a glittery starry sky like the board instructions said so. He looked around and everyone else was still halfway through their recipe. And for the first time that day he felt like he was part of the class, practicing magic. He looked at the pot glimmer and Professor Pym looked him he dodged a magical bullet as he happily gave them high marks for their potion.

Steve smiled towards his partner, proud of their accomplishment but he was already bottling it into two flasks, one he had taken from steve’s rack while he was daydreaming, and disposing of it. Steve kind of observed. The potion had already cooled by then and he grabbed the cauldron and paused slightly looking over his shoulder to see if Steve was following him. Steve stood and the boy made his way to the sink and with Steve at his right, he double checked were the professor was and slide his wand out to wordlessly bewitch the cleaning supplies to do the work for him.

“Are we supposed to do that?” Steve said, breaking the long agreed silence. The boy didn't look at him but his face slightly jumped upward, eyebrows furrowed as if it was painful. “So no,” Steve concluded. The boy stayed silent with his brows furrowed.

“Well, thanks for carrying me today, I think I actually might have memorized how to devein a leech and crush the shell of a Macros seed. The boy, looked up at him, shock on his face like that was the last thing he thought Steve would say. It was only for a split second, but his hair finally wasn’t covering his face to reveal shocking crystal blue eyes. They were so bright and alarming Steve couldn’t do much besides stare into them. It was then the cauldron and the supplies clattered in the sink. The classroom was thankfully noisy enough that nobody really noticed, but it seemed to startle the other boy enough that he grabbed it and hurried to the table. He was packed and out the door in less than two minutes. Despite that, Steve had never seen such a look on anyone’s face. He turned back to his desk where Natasha and Sam were arguing over if theirs was too glittery or not. Professor Pym quelled them by giving them high marks and they seemed to stop arguing after that.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you made it through that,” Sam said grabbing his shoulders as they emerged from the classroom to find Steve struggling through some homework on a bench. Clint had been hanging around with another Hufflepuff named Scott Lang, and they were both poorly explaining exactly how to swish and flick his wand.

“It wasn’t that bad, he was just intimidating a bit.”

“A bit?” Clint sad looking utterly confused. “He wears a glove to cover his metal arm, there are rumors he's once sent someone to the hospital wing in the third year for ruining the potion, and that the professors are too scared of him to do anything.”

“Really? He was sure to make sure I knew what each ingredient was and show me what he was doing. He even let me do the second half… well, try to anyways.”

“Oh gosh, I’m just glad you didn’t mess up,” Scott said a bit timidly.

“See!” Natasha burst out “This is why James is the way he is. Steve is here dispelling all rumors and yet you continue to alienate him based off what? And you all have the nerve to wonder why he acts that way!” She storms off, she seemed so indifferent about everything, and Steve knows this outburst is something different when all the boys look scared shitless, and Lang maybe literally as he excuses himself right away. Clint looks rather angry too, and Sam just looks disappointed.

“She's right, Clint. Sorry, Steve, that was totally uncalled for me to stand by as a Prefect. I’m supposed to stop this sort of behavior.”

“You just say that because you like her. Always quick to jump to her side.” Clint says looking torn between being angry and remorseful. He stands there as nobody says anything and he shakes his head saying he needs to cool off. Then it’s just a guilty Sam and a very lost Steve standing in the middle of the busy hallway.

“Um, I need Professor Hill’s office she’s supposed to assess where I need extra lessons in, but I’m not sure where it is or how to get there…” 

“Oh yeah, follow me. So right now we’re in the dungeons and we need to get to the third floor.” Thank goodness Sam was so great at explaining things, so Steve could get back too. Turned out Steve needed a lot of help but he wasn’t hopeless. She sent him to Professor Coulson and he worked out some first and second year books and marked pages he should practice for Defense Against the Dark Arts. He said he’d give him some real life practice later. He made his way to the great hall but ran into someone, who was taller and more muscular that he was.

“Ah, it is Steven Rogers, the Alchemist’s finest warrior!” The taller and more muscular person bellowed. He looked up to see someone with Long blonde locks and Gryffindor robes. Although he was a bit different, “Oh and how rude of me, I am Thor Odinson, Headboy and Quidditch captain for the Hufflepuff team.”

“Nice to meet you, Thor,” Steve said and all the puzzles were being put together, he had heard of the lightning god, Thor. Apparently, he was so fast on a broomstick he looked like lightning. He had a half brother, In the Slytherin house who was just as good at the sport.

“You should sit with us! I was merely just going to meet my Jane outside-” Just then a girl in Ravenclaw robes jumped into his arms. They began making out, and someone whistled at them, he turned to look at a girl in Hufflepuff robes and she winked and patted the seat next to her. They were sitting with Tony Stark and his group as well.

“So you must be Steve.” She says a bit flirtatiously as the couple shows their devotion and passion to one another at the front of the great hall. “I’m Darcy.”

“Hello, Darcy.” He says not really sure what to say. It was then that the couple were scolded by Professor Hill for being indecent. They return to the table. He was happy to have someone to sit with as he didn’t see Clint or Natasha and Sam was surrounded as could be at the Gryffindor table, he had waved at him earlier and Steve had pointed at the group and Sam winked at him in acknowledgment. Steve felt a bit better, hoping Sam had made up with Natasha. Steve was picking his way through his dinner but he felt something heavy, it was when he glanced at the Slytherin table he saw Barnes- or James as Natasha had called him staring right at him. When their eyes met he quickly lowered his, then got up and left. Despite how intimidating and shitscared his stare made him, he remembered Natasha's word implying he was just misunderstood.

“Heard you had an interesting Potions period?” Pepper said leaning around Darcy.

“Really, it wasn’t much. That was the only class I really understood.” Pepper searched his face for a second and then nodded with a smile.

“But wait didn’t you have ba-” The boy with the curly hair and the book shoved Tony who indeed shut up but not without a frown.

“Potions is my worst subject too… I’m Bruce by the way.” He said reaching a shy hand across the table. Steve met him halfway to shake it. “I bet you’ve met quite a few people today, don't worry about remembering my name.” He said sheepishly.

Steve laughed, startling everyone. “I don’t know how I could forget, now.” Everyone laughed after that, Thor booming across the hall. Dinner went better than he thought, Natasha and clint eventually joined everyone, seemingly as they had made up. Sam later joined him too, just as friendly with everyone. He then noticed Pepper’s shiny bade too, and he thought that made a lot of sense. The night turned out so great in fact he forgot all about James Barnes and the chaos he had created on the first day of classes. Steve was rejuvenated with the desire that everything would be alright.

It was breakfast the next day when his heart sank a bit. It had been 20 minutes and he was still staring at him. But not JUST staring. He was now glaring. His eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrow and pursed lips. Thankfully it was just him that noticed, he was worried there would be another spat about the boy’s demeanor. The more he thinks about it, Natasha probably actually knows him from being the same house, maybe she's even friends with him.

“Steve whats wrong?”

“Uh” He had to think of something fast, “I uh missed flying lessons from the first year… do you know anyone who could teach me? I don’t have much spare time between lessons, and Thor is the captain he's probably pretty busy…” They both looked at each other.

“Steve I’m on the Gryffindor team,” Sam said deadpanning. “I play chaser… so yes.” Natasha smirks.

“Jack of all trades our Sammy boy, too perfect for us,” Clint says fake crying for some reason.

His classes were slow and difficult but he had Charms again and he managed to accomplish the one they were working on today in the class at least once. Professor May said he still needed to master the simpler ones or he would be sitting most classes out. She's rather intimidating but then she said good luck with a tight smile, so he thinks she likes him… at least.

His lessons with Professor Coulson had already worn him out before they got to their improv quidditch lesson. It was then after dinner, with more glaring from James Barnes from who knows why, before it got too dark Sam took him out to practice mounting. He said Steve was a fast learning and was picking it up quickly but really he could only fly a few feet off the ground (slow at that), by the end of the first lesson. So by the time they got back to the dorms, it was almost curfew. He began madly working on homework. Rhodey said something about a famous witch once used a time turner to do all her classwork, it was almost like Steve needed one. Steve thought it wasn’t almost, he really did need some extra time. This world he finally was apart of.

The whole week passed as busy as his first days, he was lucky the next potions class had no partners, and the following one was a lecture and the fourth one was groups upon choice. Every day passed with more staring- well really glaring- and he knew that Natasha had known since the second day. A couple times she would glance over at him and narrow her eyes back and he would turn away as if she scared him.

He didn’t blame the guy, Natasha was a very scary lady. They were reciting a few things for their first charms test, Steve felt like he knew the material but still drastically behind. It was also that day they had their 5th potions class and professor Pym thought it was a good idea to assign partners, and because the first class he worked so well with Barnes he thought he’d put them together again. Also because stupid Patricia Parkins was sick again. What is even with that girl?

By now, Steve knew everyone and everyone knew Steve has a bullhead idiot, and he wasn’t that exciting anymore. But oh was James Barnes a name full of whispers and gossip still. He guessed that whatever sort of secondary school you went to, you couldn’t really escape this with teenagers. They settled in together and this time James did not prepare will Professor Pym was talking, instead, he kept his nose in the next book and kept sneaking glances at Steve. Maybe he was secretly jinxing Steve so that he could get this done without him holding them back. When they were released to go do things he jumped out of his seat and ran to the storeroom. Natasha who luckily got Rhodey for this one had her face in her hand like she was disappointed. He looked at Sam who was using very exaggerated facial expressions to say how confused he also was.

Steve decided the best way this could go was if he just tried to get through it. Eventually, he returned. And Steve had sorted out all the beakers and utensils they’d need, He wasn’t very good at Potions but he was getting the hang of the setup. James had sat down very stiffly. His hair was tucked behind his ear unlike last time, and Steve could see his face.

His face was really beautiful too.

That was the least of Steve’s worries though. James had begun quickly going through the recipe and Steve was getting lost on what he was adding until he dropped everything. Then he got up and left the room silently. It took everyone bone in Steve’s body not to scream or throw something because who knew someone could be that difficult. This Potion was time based from a certain point and Steve was scrambling to get everything under control and it should be blue but it was still a very grassy green at the moment and he couldn’t remember what made it change color and he lost track of what James had added-

Then there was a hand on his shoulder and Steve looked up to find a pair of sorry crystal blue eyes. “Eagle beak.” The boy said, his voice rough and horse like he rarely used it. Steve turned to the beak shavings and sprinkled them in, in a few seconds, to his relief it changed color.

“Thank you but what was that?” Steve tried to keep his voice even and calm, just in case, he didn’t want to anger this guy.

James was silent again, he had taken over stirring for Steve and was glaring at the potion as if he wished to set it on fire with his eyes, for any sort of distraction.

“Sorry… about that.” Steve was more relieved he was talking to him than getting an apology or explanation. Steve nodded and James glanced up at him quickly. He was understanding a little more where everyone would mistake this guys demeanor.

“It's fine. Just uh let me know where you are before you leave... If you need to, or something.” It was really weird to suddenly be talking to this guy whos been glaring at him for two weeks. The boy nods a bit and they, at a more moderate pace, finish their potion. Although James went mute again he made sure Steve understood what was going on. Which was comforting because he really didn’t get that much elsewhere in this class. Sam and Natasha are always too busy messing around.

It wasn’t until Dinner when he finally decided to question Natasha.

“Are you uh friends with James Barnes?” 

“Sort of.” She shrugs thinking about it.

“Do you know why he was so weird today? I was just wondering if I should know something if Professor Pym is going to keep putting us together.”He prodded, “ I know he's not bad or anything.”

“Yeah he uh, yeah. I’ve never seen him bolt like that. There are a few personal things that aren’t mine to give out. But yeah he does a lot of stuff like that, but usually, it's out of fear. I think he likes you, don’t take it the wrong way.” She says reassuringly. Well if she thought so, then he guessed, despite the continued stares, he’d just take that as something he did.

It’s the third and there was the end quidditch tryouts. Sam says he's good enough to try (really because they still hadn’t filled their positions), Rhodey, the current Gryffindor captain encourages him too. He tries out for the beater roll, but it ends up going to the 3rd year who carries the ball around like he has sticky fingers slingshotting them like boomerangs. They then have Steve try for Seeker and he's not too bad, well really it's just he's better than the other choices it seems. Gryffindor hadn’t been winning much of anything with the likes of the Lightning God in Hufflepuff and the Trickster God in Slytherin. But games were nonetheless exciting. Steve can’t believe he's found himself another thing to pile on his duties. He finally feels like he's learning things in his classes. T’challa has been tutoring him in transfiguration which was the subject he was lacking in.

Steve was happy to say he finally felt at home in Hogwarts, despite every night he was drop dead exhausted may it be from Quidditch practice or whatever new spell Professor Coulson said they had to learn that day.

So when he was hurried, carrying all his materials around the corner, trying to get some time in to study for his regular lessons, he hadn’t even been thinking about James Barnes.

But with Steve’s luck that's exactly who he squarely ran into, sending them both toppling down.

“Ouch!” Steve’s hand had landed on his quill, stabbing his palm. “Jeez watch where-” He looked up to meet Crystal blue eyes shimmering in the lowly lit castle evening. He looked shocked and thoroughly concerned for Steve’s hand as he quickly yanked it, causing Steve to surge forward, catching himself from vaulting towards the other boy.

“Whoa careful or your gonna pull the whole thing out of place.” The other boy ignored him, busy inspecting his meager wound. Of course, it hurt, but things happened. He then raised his wand to Steve’s hand, “Whoa whoa, hey I’ll just go see ma-” 

The boy before him had already mumbled out whatever his intentions were into a spell which knitted his skin back together in a second. He brushed his thumb over the spot on Steve’s hand. It really was the smallest of wounds. Realizing he was still holding Steve’s hand, James almost threw it back to him. He then began collecting the papers Steve was holding, carefully straightening them. All Steve could do is sit there on his ass looking like an idiot.

He hesitates a second, staring down at Steve’s Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. Then he handed it back to Steve.

“Thank you?” He said almost questioning himself. He realized how rude that might of sounded so he tried again, “Thank you, James.” He then looked the other boy in the eye.

James looked back at him, holding his gaze.

That was the last thing Steve thought he would be doing tonight. Staring into the crystal blue eyes. His eyes held a world of fear, determination and it was almost like they were begging Steve- “14 is b.” He said looking down again. Steve was still mourning the loss of those eyes staring back into his that he didn’t realize what the other boy had said. He blinked once. Twice and James moved to stand. Steve mirrored him, frown growing on his face. He looked down at his paper to see he had chosen c instead. That's an easy fix at least he’s just got to make the line and close the-

Oh yeah, “I guess it is-” He looked up to find himself alone with no trace of the other boy.

The rest of the week it wasn’t just in the Great Hall, it was everywhere, practice, the halls, sometimes even classes- he felt like he was being watched by those truth sucking heavy crystal irises. It was freaking him out a bit. But he also kind of felt special. He seemed to be the only person James interacted with, other than Natasha alluding to know him. His first Game had gone really smoothly against Ravenclaw. Tony Stark the other Seeker had the fastest broom in the game by far, and of course, he had made it himself, and yet Steve happened to see the golden snitch buzzing around near the speak Podium where Clint was being lectured by Profesor Hill about keeping it professional. He nearly knocked himself diving for it too, but he was lucky to pill a backflip and catch the snitch. It was really just him chickening out but he managed to beat it back as he pulled into the flip, He may have broken his ring finger but he ended up catching it anyway. It's alright because Madam Mantis healed it within the hour.

With his mind of James Barnes on every second that wasn’t dedicated to school work he forgot the approach of his second game and he all the sudden felt even worse nerves. He forgot to ask who was on it, their game was against Slytherin, led by the Tricker God of a Captain, Thor’s brother Loki. He gave some extra hours, to practice because Professor Coulson was the head of Hufflepuff house, and although he was rather subtle, he took his rivalry with the Slytherin house very serious when it came to Quidditch, and if Gryffindor could beat them, he would give them any chance he could. Of course with a promise of covering double the material and extra lessons.

The day rolled around and he was fully focused on his own game plan, he was surprised to see a few familiar faces on the team, that being of Gamora, Wade and… well Steve knew he was darn fucked. Standing on the other side of field staring him down was James Barnes. His eyes must have been wide because he almost thought he saw amusement on his face when Steve returned the stare. Was that why he was paying so much attention to Steve? He probably wasn’t talking to him in hope of gaining an advantage, but just observing him from afar. Steve felt a pang of betrayal, but he knew it was his own fault for assuming anything. He didn’t even know what he was assuming. A friend? To be someone’s friend?

He found Natasha in the crowd who was cackling between Darcy and Thor. He saw Darcy question her, she stops and tells her something, Darcy met him with her sharp eyes all the way from the stands and she started howling too. He could almost hear it over the roar of the crowd. He turned away quickly finding Rhodey before they had to line up.

“What Position does J-Barnes play?” He said trying to sound Casual, Rhodey took his question with no qualm, excited that Steve might be getting into background research or “dirt” as Peter Parker- strangely enough one the beaters- had called it behind his back.

“He plays Keeper… thank goodness, its the one with the least contact with the rest of the players, he’s really good though, we’ll have to work hard to get around him. But never mind him, he’s not important unless he's near the snitch.” Rhodey said putting a hand on his shoulder even though Steve was a bit taller than him. It was a little weird, but that was what Tony called a Rhodeyism. Steve took another note that Rhodey had gained a new flashy Stark broom this game. Steve joined the rest of his team waiting to be called out.

“I heard that every year he tries out to be a beater though, but Professor May won't have it.” Said Peter Quill, or Starlord he insists on being called on the field. He said it because it's confusing with two Peters, but everyone knows he just thinks it sounds cool. Sadly no one besides his Slytherin friends will tell him so. And weirdly enough he has a lot. As they waited Rhodey explained each player, and about how Quill was really useless this game because he was friends with Gamora, Drax and Rocket- the team’s opposing anamorphic player. He had been hit by a bad spell his first year, and he's the first wizard Raccoon. For short amounts of time he can turn into a human, but he's mainly stuck as a talking Raccoon. They all lined up getting ready to start and Steve thought Rocket was kind of cute furry guy before he picked his nose and wiped it on Drax, the noticing Steve’s staring he gave a very unkind gesture under his tiny robes. Steve turned back in shock to the rest of his team and nobody saw it but apparently all the Slytherin team saw it and thought it was funny, even Loki was grinning but Barnes stood stoically as ever, his mind seemed to be somewhere else. Doctor (as he insisted), Strange was coaching this particular game.

Steve felt like he was losing time because before he knew it he was off circling high above the stadium out of the action for the Snitch. He watched everyone Zoom around. Rocket was zooming around the ring in a zigzag method trying to find where the snitch had gone.

“ANNNND Gryffindor is in possession, chaser, and captain James Rhodes is zooming towards the goal post, Barnes is at the ready, Beater Parker swings a bludger at Barnes as Rhodey throws the quaffle and- NOO! I mean Barnes dodges the bludger and in the same swing blocks the quaffle! Slytherin is now in possession.” Steve watches Barnes adjust his bun a little bit, keeping the hair out of his face. He still can’t believe James, as isolated as he was on the Quidditch team. The rumors about James Barnes begin to seem even more ridiculous with the addition of his own experiences.

“The Trickster god pulling out his usual antics races down the field, he dodges Rhodes’ attempts to block him, his beater Drax charging all Bludger at offending players, Loki- awe that's not fair! He-”

“Clinton.” Professor Hill warns.

“Right professor, we’ll let or ref decide that.” He laughs awkwardly. “ANYWAYS, Slytherin has 10 points but Gryffindor chaser Quill is in possession, he passes the quaffle and- fuck! Sonofa-”

“CLINTON.”

“Gun. Muggle guns man, useless am I right? Back to the game, Slytherin Chase Gamora is in possession.”

Steve decided he needed to get Lower. Rocket was currently hovering in one place, he was a little distracted by the game like Steve was. He could tell they were getting their asses kicked. It was when James Barnes made another block, this time with a backflip like Steve’s in the first game, it was when he saw something golden hanging out around the hoops. He watched again seeing a glint of light reflect off of its surface, despite the cloudy weather and he dove, charging full speed with his borrowed sweeper model. Steve really didn't have any wizard money, he was lucky the Starks provided all of his initial costs at school but he had to borrow a school broom.

As he was charging he heard clint somewhere wafting in the background, he picked up on the fact that Rocket now was headed to where he was. Luckily, even though he had a much high quality broom, he was daddling on the other side of the arena. He felt the wind whip in his ear and he saw the gold glint again, and he saw James Barnes’ face with an actual expression on it. Not some half hidden quirk in his mouth with amusement, not some sadness he had to look deep into those crystal eyes to find. Right then, Steve found a full expression of awe and wonder. It wasn’t until later that he realized that James was indeed looking at him. He willed his broom to charge faster and it did (or it felt like it), and the snitch was directly in his path just inside the goal post. The wind was rushing to loudly in his ears he couldn’t hear anything until it was too late, he heard Clint shouting No to him, He could still see James face, still full of expression, now crumpled in horror. He was shaking his head rapidly. He knew there was no backing out of this one, even if he was going to slam into this post, he felt his hand brush the wings of snitch and with one last stretch he caught it. He felt the smooth etched surface in his hand as the wings stopped moving, delicate as ever. He was able to do a 180 and stop himself from crashing at the last second and-

WHAMMMMMM!

The last thing he saw was Barnes making a grab for him as he fell from his broom, Bludger hitting him in the chest.

-

He was having a weird dream.

There was Clint, Quill, Professor Hill who was mad at Clint for swearing, Natasha and Darcy were laughing over something and the noise that was coming out of their mouths was distorted and it hurt his head. But there was also James, and the look on his face made Steve’s stomach flip over. He was asked in his deep rough voice for Steve to stop something. All Steve knew is he wanted that look to leave James face, he would trade it even if he only got half emotions from the time on. It just wasn’t worth it to see him so distraught. His stomach still felt sick a bit but it stopped turning, then it was only him and James, and the things he was saying were gibberish, he couldn’t understand any of it.

“Oh, god after all of that- Steve, c’mon stay with me.”

“mm-Wha?” Steve felt himself say even though he realized he understood that time.

“Hey, thank god. I can’t believe that actually?” Even though the words were becoming clearer themselves, he thinks James’ sentences were jumbled from his brain, not Steve’s.

“You don’t make sense.”

James chuckled a deep nervous chuckle and Steve instantly wanted to hear the full laugh, not the muted version trapped in his throat he was sharing with him (well it's not like he doesn’t like it too). He was guessing James’ laugh was one of those that were deep and full of life. The kind that filled the room easily, and allowed others to follow. Maybe that's why he neglected to share it, to protect himself.

“You should laugh. More.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

“Why do you only talk to me when I’m shocked or injured?” Steve asked again with brutal honesty. James looked at him inquisitively.

He was quiet for a second as the other boy looked down at his hands. But to Steve, the minutes blurred like seconds together before he said, “Because I’m afraid you won't like me otherwise.” He said matching it. Looking into his eyes with the sorrow again. Even Steve’s foggy brain could read that.

“Well, that's stupid to think.” He blurted, slurring his words, “Of course I like you!”. He challenged James’ hard stare which had morphed into genuine surprise and then his expression had gone… he had no words for it, but maybe... warm. So warm the edges of his mouth uncomfortably tilted up like he was unused to even the natural reaction his face gave. Eventually he let go and Steve could see the remnants of what used to be a killer smile. He felt warm. James kneeled over him as their teammates began to swarm them. It was then that a crowd started forming and Steve was whisked away to Madam mantis. As James left his vision the warmth stayed with him, it began to cloud his vision slowly, enveloping him has the darkness took him. He didn’t have much to worry about so he let himself slip away.

He had won the game. And he had won a rare glimpse of James’ words.

-

He awoke in the Infirmary feeling a bit fluffy altogether. He had a few sweets left on his bed stand and a glass of water which he immediately zoned in on and tried to grab. He initially missed but after putting all of his attention in on the glass he successfully picked it up. The next step though was getting it to his mouth without half of it landing on his lap. After draining the glass and satisfying his dry mouth and lips he looked around. It was dark and late and he was changed out of his robes and into Pajamas. He wasn’t sure why he was here but he knew he hurt. All over kind of hurt. He easily went back to sleep and the next time he awoke he was no longer alone and it was now daytime, most likely afternoon. Madam Mantis rushed towards him at the first sight of him stirring she rushed him to take a few pills and a few silly exercises. After she was done she approved him for having visitors, which he was surprised to see quite a few waiting.

First to visit was Sam, Clint, and Natasha. Sam brought him his broom, which Barnes had apparently caught but missed him. Clint talked about what happened and how gnarly it was and if he didn’t have the ladies now, he’d have all of them later. This was proven by the fact of Sharon Carter, a Ravenclaw girl came to visit him. She was very regal seeming, and not really Steve’s type of person but she came on behalf of a group of mostly Ravenclaw girls who Natasha explained later were probably spying on him more than he cared to think about. Steve’s honestly not sure why almost dying makes him more romantically appealing. Tony Stark and his friends Pepper and Bruce had come just after Sharon, and Tony was complaining about how people who didn’t know him got to go first. He was only satisfied with Harry gave him some of the presents she left for him. Pepper took a liking to some magic bath thing and Steve let her have it, but told her to make sure they didn’t see it.

His team also visited him for a bit alongside Nat, Sam and Clint, to all congratulate him on winning the game and also give their condolences because he had more than a few broken bones and although growing them back reminded of when Erskine stretched them in the first place. He was a bit afraid they’d never grow back at first but Madam Mantis quenched that fear right away. She calmingly told him that she was a better healer than to miss a detail like that, even with his magical body. She also told him the Erskine's Serum is a mystery and unless they knew the reverse potion that nothing he did would affect it, his able body was here to stay. Well after he healed. It was a lot of work but she said he should be able to move around in a few days. Rhodey made sure to sneak in some tactics work for him. Professor Coulson had visited him and later sent some books on the history of magic with a note that ‘he was waiting for a time like this’. Steve couldn’t think of a better one either.

Steve felt exhausted by the end of the day but the one person he wanted to see hadn’t shown up. His last visitor was Natasha who was the mellowest of everyone and she worked through potions homework with him luckily his right hand got away with a few scrapes. And as soon as Madam Mantis fixed his collarbone he was able to do work. Which led Natasha to help him finish all of it.

“Hey uh, your friends with Barnes right?”

“James, yeah something like that.” She said looking away as if she was thinking.

“Could you tell him thank you or something? For saving my broom. And everything else he did to help.” Steve said pleading. She looked at him and blinked.

“Why didn’t you say it yourself? I thought you guys were getting along?” She seemed genuinely out of the loop of how this not-so-friendship between James and Steve was going. Or more like how it wasn’t going. At all. Not even nowhere because it was at a full stop most of the time.

“Kinda been trapped up here for days Nat. And yeah but now I’m not sure we are as good of friends as I thought.” Natasha had a frown on her face almost like there is something unusual about what he said.

“James never visited you?” She said a bit more softly.

“Uh no. Only Drax from your house came in briefly. He was a bit strange, and very literal but was apologizing for ‘Hitting it that hard’ and ‘Being a really good beater’ and ‘that he managed to knock me off my broomstick in one shot’.” Steve winced thinking about how painful the conversation was. Madam Mantis seemed to know Drax really well so she shuffled him outside as he got a little more amped and he ended up just shouting things down the hall.

Natasha’s face was frowning once again and she almost looked angry. “That boy.” She said through her teeth. She began muttering things under her breath before running a hand through her hair. She stood up and looked like she was ready for murder.

“Drax really was fine-”

“Not him, James god damn it! I’m going to go talk to his childish ass.” She stormed off leaving Steve so confused. All the questions of why was James supposed to visit him went through his head. It would be really nice if he could but it’s not like anyone has to visit him. He just thought they finally had a breakthrough. Unless he said something weird while half conscious, maybe that's why he's staying away. 

The next day most of the Slytherin team shows up although Loki is there just for a few seconds and he says “Try not to die next time. I finally know my seeker has a challenge.” The rest of the team comes in and talks with him. He finds he really likes Gamora, Rocket reminds him a bit like Clint, except its a bit strange to be talking to a raccoon. They were talking about his broom modifications and his story of how he turned into a Racoon and was able to still play quidditch was a grand one. Eventually, Madam Mantis came up to get them to leave but they trapped her in the conversation and she forgot what she was doing. But alas no Barnes with the Slytherin team like Natasha implied. During lunch, Sam came and visited him again.

“So do you know why Nat thinks Barnes should be visiting me?” Sam looked a bit sideways. He knew he was still a bit scared of Barnes. 

“At the moment a lot of people are blaming him for why your so injured.”

“What?” Steve said stunned.

“Everyone’s saying he could have caught you or warned you or some even say he should have taken the hit. Of course, I beg to differ but…” Sam looked a bit sad.

“Has everyone got mad?” He starred at Sam looking for him to say he’s joking or he just wanted to see his reaction. But that's not like Sam at all. “If anyone should be blamed it was Drax, although he was clear across the court and just intended to hit me as I was diving, so by the time the bludger reached me he didn’t expect I’d have the snitch… but James is apart of the other team! Why would he take a hit for me? Besides he was the only one who was acting fast after I was hit, It's not like he just was just there watching me. He tried to catch me but gravity is faster!” Steve said in an angry huff. He was starting to hurt again.

“I know I know!” Sam said calming him down, “I completely agree but that might be why he's not visiting you, he thinks it's his fault.” Sam said solemnly. Sam ate with him and they did some more homework.

The week passed with fewer people coming towards the end. Really just Sam, Nat and Clint came. Rhodey tried to come and talk Quidditch but Tony Stark was always trailing after him so they never really got much done anyways. Steve’s schedule became mega busy as he got out. They were lucky the next few games weren’t theirs because it gave Steve a bit more time to adjust. Every time he asked Natasha about James she just shook her head looking irritated.

He tried to correct people in the halls when they implied that James could have done more but it never seemed to help. Regardless, at their next potion class, James wasn’t there. Which beat any advice anyone had given him which was to ‘go straight to the problem’. Professor Coulson never seemed that assertive but Steve had thought it was great advice at the time. Now he’s curious on how to exactly find his problem. After class, he was going to ask Natasha but she ran off as soon as they were dismissed.

He turned to Sam who promptly said, “She's going to look for him.” with a shrug. Sam had some prefect duties so Steve took a small break to wander the ground of the castle. It was getting cold and Halloween was a week away. He couldn’t believe how much had happened in just the first two months. He went around the side of the castle quizzing himself on what grade 2 learned about in History of Magic when he heard a big ‘OOF’ and someone laughing. His stomach dropped as he heard taunting voices. He slid his notecards into his robes and walked a little faster.

“Think again next time you wanna speak out of line you one-armed freak.” 

“Yeah without that arm your pretty much useless.” Whoever they were speaking to wasn’t responding, which also wasn’t a very good sign. He quickened his pace.

“Boys that's enough.” Steve DEFINITELY recognized that voice.

“But for Weirdos like this, you never know-”

“Are you questioning me?” Said the same voice, and Steve burst around the corner to see his ugly big butt chin standing right there in his green Slytherin robes- Thanos. Around him were a few Ravenclaw boys and one Hufflepuff girl who must have been the person who suggested they go. Her name was like Galaxy or something, uh Star? Cosmo? Milky Way? No no oh yeah Nebula. The two Ravenclaw boys he didn’t recognize but he was assuming they were 7th years because they looked a little too old for Hogwarts robes. As soon as he charged around the corner they all looked up at him. It was only now that Steve saw who was their normal bullying target and he looked down to see James crumpled on the floor against the wall, sporting a great black eye.

“Ah Steven, I’m sorry you had to see us doing such dirty work like taking out the trash,” Thanos said.

One of the Ravenclaw boys went pretty much Psycho upon seeing Steve, his face lit up, “You see we got him back for letting the bludger hit you, it was SUCH an unfair move, and on top of that he just let you fall and then-”

“What the hell?” Steve was so pissed off he couldn’t think straight. Nebula’s face had already gone pale as soon as she saw him, now she matched his red face with green. Thanos looked a little surprised but Steve had a feeling he would of beat someone else up if James weren’t an easy hated target at the moment. “Do you even have brain cells?” Is all he could think of, in the corner of his eye he saw James shift a bit with a small moan. He felt his stomach drop.

“But we did this in your favor,” Thanos said, his facade breaking slightly amongst confusion. “He was right next to you when you fell we also saw how close he was and he could have just warned you or-”

“He fucking did! He did warn me! He was yelling at me and using all the right visual gestures but I was too hell-bent on being a star that I let my guard down! Steve was trying to calm down but he was definitely screaming at this point. “What the fuck gives you a right to do this to someone else? Like when have I ever talked to any of you or told- I just- Oh my god.” He saw James was kind of bleeding. Not kind of, like really bleeding. There is no ‘kind of’, goddamn adrenalin brain. He crouched down next to James and carefully looked at his wounds.

Everyone but Thanos had run away at this point during Steve’s hysteria. “Look buddy regardless of what this loser did, you don’t wanna make friends with the wrong sort of crowd, he's not a worthy Slytherin, he was just placed here because they had nowhere else to put him after Hydra fucked his ass,” James grunted trying to move.

“Yeah, I know what happened the second year to little Bucky Barnes and his family. He’s tainted, Steve. He worked with them like a coward until Fury swooped in saved him. His little Hydra friends are probably the same ones who killed Erskine. If he had done something, maybe a great wizard would be alive today, I mean he was killed so easily so I don’t know if he was all that great. But at least you wouldn’t be hunted.” Steve glared harder at Thanos. If looks could kill. He had no fucking right to talk about shit he didn’t know about.

“You watch your mouth or I might just make my way right over there and show you how great he was.” Thanos looked at him with a hard stare back. After a few minutes of a staredown, he shrugged, towering over Steve with powerplay.

“Your choice, Steve.”

Steve began ignoring him and promptly knelt next to James, the blood wasn’t from a wound like he thought it must have been Thanos’ because Steve saw him walk away with a limp.

“Man is this reversed now?” Steve laughed trying to wrap his head around what just happened. Regardless of what Steve knew he looked like an angel to Bucky right now. 

His robes were torn, especially the sleeve that kept his metal arm hidden. Steve remembers hearing something about it but he thought it was just the hand. Indeed the magical prosthetic continued all the way up to pink jagged scarring on his shoulder. It was bolted onto his arm and looked very permanent unless most prosthetics Steve had seen. Although they were muggle prosthetics so may there's a difference he guesses. The usual black dragon’s hide glove was sitting a few feet away looking in one piece.

“I can’t believe this happened. This shouldn’t of- oh god James.”

“Bucky.” He whispers.

“What?” 

“Only Nat and my mah called me James.” He said very slowly.

“Oh... Thanos did call you Bucky.” Steve was still putting the pieces together in his head, the pieces he learned about this boy. Bucky made a ‘tch’ noise in return.

“Oh god is this why you weren’t in class?” He was no examining the boy for other injuries. It seemed they somehow damaged his arm.

“No.” He said determinedly. “I missed class because there was a rumor someone would tamper with our potion and I didn’t… I didn’t want to put you in the hospital wing again.” He said through gritted teeth. Steve searched the boys face.

“Were you even listening!? Lord have mercy on these Wizards its like I have to spell it out to them every time!” He yelled at the sky so frustrated. “Are purebloods born without ears!?!”

James looked utterly clueless, “I kinda blacked out during the last punch.” He says a bit sheepishly. Steve was mixed with so many emotions because Bucky was ACTUALLY speaking like a normal human being. Maybe Thanos knocked something back into place.

“Ugh, It wasn’t your fault for goodness sake! It's like you want them to blame you! It wasn’t Drax’s fault because he was so far away, nor my beaters because they were with our chasers. AND YOU had tried to signal to me but I was too stupid to see it! To see anything other than the snitch and impressing you!”

It was almost like stunning this boy was the only way to get him to speak because he repeated, “Impress me?” Like it never occurred to him that anyone would want to do something like that. Steve felt a little sad thinking about it.

“There was no way you could have somehow grabbed me or whatever people are conjuring up with ease. They believe something like you has super strength and speed and can fish my falling flailing body out of the air. I’m the closest thing to Superman, and I couldn’t do that!” Steve wasn’t sure Bucky knew who Superman was, but it was worth it. 

“I tried to do a hover charm, but it hit your broom instead of you.” He said guiltily. Steve looked at him with wide eyes.

“Then why didn’t you defend yourself against the rumors?” He said more softly,“That you had just let me fall, why don’t you defend or dispel any of your accusations?” Steve feels close to tears because he really felt bad for this boy. He also was so frustrated that nobody had helped him besides Nat. 

“Because I didn’t really think it was worth it… the effort.” He said shocked at his own honesty.

“But you are worth it.” Steve said quietly, looking into those crystal blue eyes. They shimmered in the cloudy light. They held the gaze for a while. “You know they should be expelled, Thanos is just gonna pick another poor kid to beat up,” Steve said watching the black eye darken. Ja- Bucky nodded in agreement. “Let me fix your robes though.” He said getting his wand ready.

“Wait, my arm first.” He held up the limp arm. “I just need my wand and I can fix it…” He said looking at a patch of grass a couple feet away from Steve quickly grabbed it as Bucky held it and whispered a few spells and eventually it was up and running. Steve then prepared his robes. And they were looking at another again. “What he said… about hydra. It's true. I was kidnapped the summer before my second year after they crashed my parents in a car, but they… they weren’t-” Bucky was shaking at this point.

“Hey, hey stop. You don’t need to tell me this now. Or even if you want. I’ll listen to it anytime. I guess we have quite a bit in common huh? But don’t for yourself, especially not because of Thanos.” Bucky nodded his head in agreement.

“I just, thank you. Thank you for everything Steve.” He said looking down refusing to meet his eyes, “I just really want you to know I am sorry, regardless of what I could of and could do.”

“The only way I’ll accept it is if you promise to continue to talk to me, not just when we’re in danger.” He said with a wink. Okay, he probably shouldn’t do any winking.

Bucky nodded and agreed with a crooked smile but then winced at the black eye. They headed to the hospital wing where Madam Mantis was not happy to see Steve. Bucky was out by the next morning. His face healed and glove back on his ornate hand. The reason Steve knew this was because once Bucky entered the great hall for breakfast Steve waved at him and he actually went over at sat down next to him and the Gryffindor table. Natasha promptly excused herself from Pepper at the Ravenclaw table and made her way to sit on Bucky’s other side. Clint begrudgingly sad across from him. Sam, smooth as ever cracked some jokes and everyone eased up a bit, even Bucky who laughed at his own expense.

Bucky wasn’t so suddenly buddy buddy or friendly, he was still quiet brooding and had mood swings like no other. But like any friend, Steve learned to live. It was actually kind of nice now, not having him stare at Steve every day. It was the Halloween feast when he turned to him and analyzed his face. He seemed much lighter, listening in to Clint tell some ridiculous story about something to do with the Hufflepuff dorms- Thor was bellowing inside comments mixed with laughter. Steve saw the twinkle in his eyes and the little curve at the end of his plush lips that showed amusement. The small things are what Steve found himself liking about this boy. Was that weird? Maybe. Who knows. He then noticed Steve staring at him rather intensely (well he looked like a creep), “What is it?” He said softly, mood changing to the familiar anxiety that followed Bucky around.

“Nothing, Nothing… I was just wondering why you used to stare at me every day.” Bucky’s face went a little pink and he looked away and Natasha sniggered.

“I’m just… not good at starting conversations.” Steve blinked. Everyone burst out laughing, as they all happened to be wondering the same thing, and Bucky’s massive frame seemed to attempt to curl in on itself.

“Good because I never shut up.”

The week after the fight went amazing. Thanos was expelled because of a second year Hufflepuff turning up with a broken nose and an imprint of a very identifiable family ring. Like everyone had expected, he moved on to a different target. Steve felt a bit guilty but he always had his words in the back of his head making him second guess a lot of stuff. It wasn’t fair but neither were brains to humans. Bucky seemed to be willing to try this friendship out. Like really, Steve was surprised with how open they had become. They ate meals together, did homework and sometimes Bucky would attend his Quidditch practices. He said he didn’t get much training with the Slytherin team as a Keeper, but Steve thought that was a lie. Steve was lucky enough to have remedial lessons during their normal playing time. At the moment there were no games until after break so everyone was a bit relaxed. One day where Steve’s lessons finished early they decided to go out and fly around before dark. Nobody was using the pitch and it was clear enough to see. There was something about flying around with someone for fun. They did loops and twists and Steve was surprised with how carefree Bucky could be. He thought maybe he saw him smile a bit. They stopped after a bit because Bucky’s brook lost a couple bristles. The wood was practically falling off it. It looked ancient.

“It's still better than the school issued ones.” Steve nodded. He saw a few of the Ravenclaw player’s brooms after their game with Hufflepuff. They made their way to the changing rooms, Changing back into their regular robes. Steve couldn’t help but stare at the scaring where the Bucky’s right arm met the tissue.

“Magic can’t hide everything,” Bucky said startling him, his shirt was around his arms but he had stopped putting it on to look at the scar tissue himself. He turned towards Steve so Steve could see the shoulder fully. Steve stepped a bit closer, breath catching.

“Did it hurt?”

Bucky chuckled darkly as his face scrunched up, “What part?” Steve wasn’t sure what to say, So thank lord Bucky decided not to be that cruel. “I remember my arm being crushed. In the car. I don’t remember getting my original arm… when I was rescued, by the Order of Shield, It was really hazy. But I remember them taking the arm off, because the wound had fused with the metal, and it was slowly poisoning me with the magic that held it together. This arm might be one of the most advanced magical objects today. Humans cant do it with their science… not like this.”

Steve stared in awe of the arm, “Well that just proves you’re priceless then.” Steve instantly regret how cheesy that was to say, but when he finally looked back up to Bucky his eyes were a bit watery. Bucky was still very soft spoken, and Steve doesn’t think he's heard him say that many words at once, but at that moment Bucky was very loud and clear. He was saying thank you.

“Well, this is a bit depressing?” Steve says and Bucky starts laughing, full power.

“Yeah, much too drab, we have some potions homework to get to huh?”

“UGH,” Steve had forgotten about that.

Christmas was approaching and there was another Hogsmeade trip planned. Steve had missed the first one of the year due to his injuries, but all the wonderful things he heard about it was amazing. He decided to go with Clint, Sam, Natasha and Bucky. It was Stark Sr. Who signed his forms because he was technically in his care, but Tony was using the time to go on a date so he didn't dare interrupt, with who was confusing because there were several people constantly surround him.

They went into Zonkos first, where Clint tried to buy pretty much everything, but luckily Natasha was there keeping his mind focused on Christmas gifts. Clint was actually very thoughtful when he was focusing. Of course when was he ever focusing was the real question. Steve could tell Bucky wasn’t very fond of Zonko’s he wasn’t sure if it was claustrophobia or the noises. After the initial tour and introduction, he offered to wait outside with him. He gave Steve the most grateful look.

“There was a place like this where I grew up. In Romania. It was for wizards and stuff, but my sister loved it. She wanted to go there for every birthday she had.” He said looking into the snowy sky. “She would’ve been glued to Zonko’s every day.” He said smiling a bit in memory. He caressed a small moving photo of a girl with brown hair. She flipped her hair back and did a little smirk, but eventually, she waved a bit awkwardly. Steve wasn’t sure what to say so instead he memorized the girl.

Since October Bucky had been talking to Professor May about everything. Pepper called it ‘getting help’ but Steve then understood from the confused faces that there weren’t many wizard therapists. On days he had talks, afterward they’d normally just sit in the corner of the library in silence. It was just the easiest for them both. Steve wasn’t very good at comforting but whatever he did, Bucky seemed alright with it. The important thing was Bucky’s happiness and health of course. Steve knew that there wasn’t much he could do, he couldn’t fix the boy, but just by being a friend it seemed to mean a lot to Bucky. “Thanks for waiting with me punk.”

“No problem Jerk.” Steve charged back. “Till the end of the line.” He said glancing back at the line in Zonko’s were their friends stood clutching gizmos, occasionally making faces at them.

After everyone was done with their shopping and Zonko’s they then went to Honeydukes and Steve’s mind was blown (really. There was a taffy with that sort of effect). The Stark’s were very affluent and had given Steve quite a bit of pocket money but he was still hesitant about using someone else’s money. But after he saw Bucky eyeing some levitating sherbet something he wasn’t too worried. After Honeyduke’s they went to the Wizardry Supply Store. They all decided to split up because this way the most practical place to buy each other gifts (besides Clint of course, Steve was pretty sure they all bought Clint something from Zonko’s). Steve got Sam some magic cloth that would shine is prefect badge for him, He already had dungbombs for Clint and for Natasha he bought some calligraphy items after she dropped a few hints that he knew the rest of the boys weren’t going to get. Bucky was the one Steve was so unsure of what to get. He had been keeping his eyes open and really, he had no clue what was good enough for the boy. They had planned beforehand to chip in for him to have a new broom. His last one from the second year, but Nat suggested because he would only be receiving one large present, that they get him something small, ‘fill ins’ she said. She had her family pick up a few books for him that he liked. Steve looked over at his friend, studying his face. Although Bucky didn’t noticed, seemed to be lingering by the specialty inks that he knew we’re for Nat. Steve quickly showed him the calligraphy box set and pointed towards Nat and He then picked up the ink and examined it. It was perfect for her.

Bucky seemed a bit torn and walked up next to him in line. “I- Nat was my only friend for the last 3 years.” He said as if everyone knew it, “I want to get her this but- I- I don’t have enough money.” Steve who this feeling very well from being poor among muggles. He took the ink and quickly took it up to the shopkeeper and paid for the items leaving Bucky stammering.

“She deserves the world, and I don’t want to hear a single word from you.” He then placed the specialty ink set’s bag into his hand. “And James Buchanan Barnes don't you dare try and buy me a present because you being here is probably all I need for Christmas.” He said so firmly he was surprised himself. Bucky looked at Steve for a second as if he was his world. Then he lurched forward into a hug and Steve knew at the moment he was very well fucked as his heart started beating fast and his body blushed red from his ears to his toes. He hugged Bucky back who seemed quick to pull away. He saw the other half of their group making faces at him from across the shop. Well Natasha was Smirking, Sam was wiggling his eyebrows and Clint was pretending to sloppily make out with air. This made Steve turn even further into a tomato. Clint just like to make everything sexual. He was probably just taking it out on him because Natasha wouldn’t put out. Bucky wasn’t looking at Steve though, he was looking at the ground and then he looked up at Natasha who had stepped on Clint's foot at the moment making him fall into a shelf of parchment pads. 

“Clint, be careful.” She demanded, crossing her arms and refusing to help him pick them up.

The rest of them met up with seemingly their whole class in The Three Broomsticks leaving Steve’s first Hogsmeade trip topped off with a warm pint of butterbeer. Bucky had told him it had been a while since he went to Hogsmeade. At the end of his third year, he had been locked in the Shrieking Shack by an unknown assailant. He was found coming out the Whomping Willow at 1 am. Steve was kinda frightened about what the rumor mill made people do around here. Although he hinted towards Steve that he was pretty sure most of his misgivings at the school were from Thanos.

Steve guiltily left Hogsmeade in a big group of their colorful friends. Guilty why? Because all he managed for Bucky was broomstick keychain that attacked anyone who tried to ride the broomstick without the owner’s permission. The keychain itself had what Steve said earlier- ‘till the end of the line’- engraved on it. This seemed to be a good call because they had been repeating this quote all day, and he’d find out, for a lot longer from there on. But at the moment it didn’t quite seem like enough.

End of the term was upon them at their workload had reached an all time high. Steve hadn’t had any time to really hang out between Quidditch and his extra lessons. He was getting a bit burnt out but the thought of not catching up kept him going. It was only when he went to sign up to stay at Hogwarts over winter break did he realize that Bucky also was staying behind. Several of their friends had invited Steve to stay with him but he really didn’t want to miss Christmas at the castle once he saw it fully decorated. Steve had never really thought of what it had meant for Bucky all this time. All the sudden his head was filled, worried about what he normally did every holiday since his accident, and the summer- did he stay at Hogwarts? Steve was a bit worried about imposing on the Stark’s even though Tony talked about summer as if Steve was already a set plan.

It was supposed to himself, Bucky and Natasha left at the Castle. Although Natasha changed her plans to go to Clint’s at the last minute. Her parents were going somewhere fancy for the holidays, she seemed not to care much. It was kind of strange, and generally, Natasha had been acting un-Natasha like for the last few days leading up to holidays. Usually, regardless of what was happening, she approached everything calm and collected. The Secrecy she had was no new thing but it felt like she was doing a poor job at hiding their existence. Well, she was going home with Clint, he’d always thought maybe there was something between them. Sam said it definitely wasn’t anything to do with the end of term or testing. She had always taken harder courses with aggression. If anything, what baffled Steve was he heard her giggling the night before they left. Natasha was indeed a human capable of laughter, he’d heard her laugh. But she had never done something so bubbly as- giggle.

He peaked around the corner to see her and Bucky. Bucky looked utterly defeated, his face madly flushed, a single hand over his face. Natasha had her arms on her hip and her eyebrow raised. “So you’re going to do it, okay?” She said as if she was making the decision for him. Steve flattened himself against the wall, guessing this was probably not a conversation for him to be overhearing. He listened carefully anyways, the guilt rose to the back of his throat. He swallowed it and stood his ground… its not his fault they’re in the middle of the hall.

“No comment,” Bucky says through his hand. Do what? Steve really hoped she wasn’t getting him into trouble. Natasha never does anything like that intentionally, but it seems she forgets that what she gets away with, not everyone else can. She seems to be able to talk herself out of most situations, including with the faculty. Natasha seemed to not like this answer at all.

Steve half expected her to frown or get pushy, but instead, her hard stance softened and he could see her profile turn to more concern. “James, I know that my words can’t convince you, and I know you think this is as good as it gets for you. But really, you're allowed to have more, allowed to want more, you know? And you deserve to have every buried wish you’ve hidden. You know, nobody cares that you’re g-”

“I know. That's- I don’t care about that! I just… I just don’t want to lose this. I never had this… even before I became this monster version of myself. I never had this Nat. I’m happy, too. Don’t think I’m not.”

“But you’ll burn out. You won’t be as happy as you could be. And I know you, you’ll let yourself rot and wither.” She said with a hint of desperation.

“Nat, stop. You can’t push me.” He said firmly.

“UGH,” She gripes, Steve had never heard Natasha be so frustrated. “When have I been wrong James? When? I reserve my opinions for times like these, so please tell me what makes you so warry?” Bucky is silent and when Steve peaks around the corner he sees they’re now having a staring contest. Bucky, of course, is losing. Steve notes his ears are still tinged pink.

“It’s not about trusting you, Nat. I can’t trust myself, to be good, to mean enough. I can’t trust myself to heal.” Steve’s heart dropped with the sorrow in his voice. He can tell Natasha is speechless, that she too, felt what James had expressed. Expressed privately. Steve’s heart makes an executive decision over the rest of the body to pretend like he was just coming around the corner. Thank goodness they both notice him, Natasha’s mouth was open like she was planning on saying something.

Instead, she says “Steve.” A little terse. 

“Hi, Steve. “ Bucky says eyeing her as if he was worried she’d include him in the conversation.

Natasha tasks herself with a fake yawn, “Ah, goodnight, the train leaves early tomorrow, and as usual, Clint will not be packed tonight. I’m going to go force him. I’ll see you boys in a few weeks.” She stopped and hugged both of them. She whispered something inaudible in James’ ear. Steve wishes he knew what she said because his ears went pink again. And Steve kinda wishes he could say it too because Bucky looks adorable when his ears are pink.

“What was that about?” Steve says hoping he gets a better context. He knows he shouldn’t metal, but he’d hoped he was as good as friends with Bucky as Natasha was. He could only guess maybe that wasn’t the case as James quickly dismissed him.

“Oh, Natasha being herself.” He shrugs, refusing to look at him.

“I see,” Steve said nodding. “It's almost curfew isn’t it? I’ll walk you to your common room.” Steve said deciding whatever their conversation was about, Steve was going to make sure James felt he was worthy. That this wasn’t some fluke that he and Steve became friends. Steve always had a ‘bigger than himself’ feeling all of this. And maybe that was stupid. But he knew this, there wasn’t.

“Oh, you don’t ne-”

“I want to.” Steve set the pace as a slow one and Bucky had no choice but to follow him.

Steve had never quite realized that Bucky was almost as tall as his magically enhanced body. It was weird to think regular humans got this big, but then again regarding Bucky’s incident, maybe it wasn’t all Barnes. That made Steve a little sick. In that moment, combined with the fear of what he heard a few minutes ago, Steve made a rather melodramatic promise to himself. That would be he would try and make Bucky feel like he was worth it. That there was nothing he could to do to lose Steve. He could murder all their friends and Steve thinks that he’d find it somewhere in his heart to forgive him because for once, he felt connected. Steve felt like he understood Bucky, so if Bucky we’re to do something unspeakable, he would somehow justify it. Maybe that’s insanity, and maybe that's not healthy. But Steve was there for Bucky, to the end of the line. To the end of the line, he’d make sure Bucky felt worthy.

“What was that?” He suddenly said, Steve must have whispered the last bit on accident. What a terrible habit.

“Ah-so what do you want to do over break?” Steve began.

From here it was as easy as it normally was. Bucky said he gave Natasha her present in the hallway, That's why the mood was all weird with her. She loved he present but it brings out a lot of feelings, “Not that kind of feelings! Oh god no, not with her. Platonic as ever.” Steve burst out laughing, and Bucky stopped in his tracks.

“What?”

“I’ve never heard you be so disgusted.”

Bucky looked a little shocked at himself and then he smiled a bit. He looked down thinking and then looked up as if he was testing Steve, “Well I am gay, so no girls here.”

“Really? I’m Bisexual. So I like em all.” Steve said as casual as Bucky had meant to be. But Steve’s brain was whirring like crazy, he then put some of the pieces together that's what Natasha had thought Bucky was worried about? Maybe he already knew Steve swung both ways, that's why he wasn’t worried. He knew Nat probably knew his orientation.

“What?- I mean wow really? Who knew there were so many queer kids in a magic school.” Bucky said. He obviously had no clue about Steve beforehand.

“Who knew,” Steve said. Bucky’s mood seemed to have picked up a lot, despite him trying to not show Steve. It was really noticeable. Most of the week they played Gobstones with some underclassmen, Steve schooled Bucky at wizard’s chess and it snowed on Christmas eve and they got to zoom around the Quidditch field on their brooms. Bucky said it was good to practice in all weather in case it snowed late or early in the seasons. He launched into a great story about a world cup he had never been to and something to do with the snow.

Steve just liked watching him talk. Sometimes he got quiet and Steve had to respect that, by either filling the void with a one sided conversation or just staying silent too. It was never awkward. Well that's a lie, at first it sure was, but now they fell into a peaceful silence when Bucky was having an off day. Today he was windswept and gleefully storytelling. It was such a rare sight Steve drank every drop of his open smile in. This almost seemed like a glimpse of the child he once was. Steve made sure to stay quiet and save every little twinge of excitement in his mind for later. 

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Steve realized that Bucky had finished up his story. Steve had made sure to make his murmurs to let Bucky know he was listening, but had forgot to stop staring at his face when he stopped talking. It wasn’t an easy feat, he had a sharp jawline, silky brown hair, that on the rare occasion he let down. Today the hairband rest on his wrist. If they we’re to move, he’d probably pull it back out of his face. His eyes were a crystal blue as if they held all that the winter sky knew. Steve had never had a favorite season, but he’s beginning to think its Winter.

“No, no. I was just thinking.” He said shaking his head as if all the thoughts would spring free. Steve didn’t really want to analyze those thoughts, maybe not just yet.

“What about?” He pushed. See Bucky rarely pushed like that, but he was in a playful mood. Steve looked at him again, right into those wintery eyes.

“You're in a good mood.” Steve decided that's where they stemmed from, so he was being honest… right?

“Well, this is the first time I’ve spent a holiday with someone in a while… I really only became friends with nat last spring.” He broke their gaze, making a sheepish posture.

“Well I happy I’ve gotten the honor.”

They spent the rest of the evening joking and stuffing their faces. Steve had been looking for any sign leading up to christmas about what he heard between Bucky and Natasha. Natasha had wanted Bucky to do something, for his own good it sounded. He wondered if it was something like cutting off his hair, something symbolic. Although it kinda seemed maybe Bucky had a crush on someone. He had been getting secretive leading up. Steve eagerly shook the idea out of his brain. He’d think he’d be told if Bucky like someone. Steve had a lot of contacts like everyone made sure to know him. Steve couldn't help that it stung a bit, but Bucky at Natasha are allowed to have secrets he doesn’t know. Secrets that aren’t about his love life. Despite how much they sounded like it. Steve didn’t want to think about. Didn’t want to think of on top of all the excitement on Christmas Eve. He spent some good time in his dorm with his old drawing kit the final touches for Bucky’s gift. Steve wrapped it carefully, as if he was wrapping his worries away with it.

He really had no rhyme or reason to be worried, but he couldn’t help it. It was this feeling deep inside his stomach. It was bubbling at the thought of Bucky taking interest in a boy. He understands why he would be so hesitant, there weren’t too many out kids at hogwarts, but everyone seemed to understand Bucky a bit more now that he was part of Steve’s group. Steve sickly thought that maybe his notoriety (for doing nothing of course), is what cancels out the bad rumors- but no. Bucky did this on his own, people would talk to him without Steve, he didn’t need Steve there for people to talk to him. Even though Steve was there a lot.

Lost in his head, he eventually fell asleep alone in his dorm.

The next morning he awoke and entered the common room to see Bucky sitting in an armchair looking around. He was in a Slytherin hoodie and sweatpants and his hair was in a messy bun. He had no gloves on and his metal arm was out. Occasionally he took the glove off with them, but he said he mostly forgot about the glove during the day anyways.

“Bucky? What are you doing here? How did you-”

“I asked professor Pym to ask Headmaster Fury for special permission and he said it was alright for me to visit as your the only Gryffindor left. Plus they’ll change the password at the start of the new term so it doesn’t matter.”

“My question is why doesn’t Clint Nat hang out here?”

“Why don’t you guys hang out in our common room?”

“It's the dungeons?”

“Fair point…”

“Good thinking though, all your presents are here.”

“Presents?” He asked confused.

“You think we didn’t get you anything?” Steve laughed.

“Well, here are all yours.” He said matter of factly, “From the others. They had me on collection duty.” He added. He opened up a small satchel and pulled strangely sized presents out of it.

“Whoa.” Said Steve looking at the ones he pulled out. “I only have ever had one from my mom. Sometimes her friend sent one…” Steve dragged Bucky’s present over to him that were previously hidden behind the bushy tree. Bucky began staring wide eyed at the weird long package and Steve knew he knew what it was.

“You… you got me a?” He said big wintery eyes looking up at him. He was like a puppy.

“Wha…” He began reading the note with all the signatures. “No…” He said placing it gently down and it was a top of the line custom broom, like Steve’s. Courtesy of the Stark’s connections. Tony offered to pay for all of it but they refused to say it was supposed to be from everyone.

“You're a good player. I can’t wait till I beat you fair and square on that broom.” He hit the back of his head for that one with a smile. They inspected the new broom and it was perfect. It was then Steve’s turn. They ended up going back and forth opening presents. Steve got a fancy Charcoal kit from nat (which included regular pencils which he missed). Clint got him a fine tip quill. Sam got him some nice paper and stationery. Rhodey got him muggle sneakers, Steve was a bit scared why. Thor bought him a Hufflepuff scarf. Tony got him some expensive wizard binoculars Bucky was going on about, saying they were expensive but a must have if he ever went to the world cup. Mr stark sent him a handful of galleons. Steve was considering sending it back when Bucky opened the keychain from Steve. His ears went a little pink when he saw it but he put it on the broom. Nat (and of course Clint), gave him a few books. Sam also gave Bucky books. Thor also gave him a Hufflepuff scarf and Steve was beginning to think he bought one for everyone who wasn’t hufflepuff. But what surprised him was the book about ministry Aurors the Starks got him, and apparently all new textbooks. Bucky once told Steve he was boring a copy from the school of all his textbooks against defense against the dark arts which he saved up for.

It was down to the last one. Steve passed Bucky was his drawing that was wrapped in some brown paper that would reduce smudging. He didn't have anything to set it with, maybe Natasha could help.

“I just had a lot of ideas.” He lied, remembering him agonizing over what to do. “I hope it’s not stepping over boundaries.” Bucky peeled off the paper made to keep the drawing fresh. Underneath it the sight of Becca faced them. His mouth fell open a bit as he looked at her face. Steve was guessing it was somewhat accurate, but he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. Especially when the boy in front of him- the one that works so hard to keep his shit together- starts crying. It was more like a few silent tears. No wailing from Bucky. But he just sat there staring at the drawing.

“Man I kinda wish I had the charcoal Natasha got me a few days ago.” Bucky turned and stared at him, expression unchanging.

“Oh my god.” He said letting out a sob. He carefully wrapped the piece up and dug around in the satchel.

“Oh, Bucky I’m sorry I didn't-”

“NO. Don’t. Apologize.” He croaked out. He eventually picked up a stray piece of parchment. He wasn’t showing Steve the scribbles but he could see Bucky’s long sprawling handwriting. “Just… don’t it’s wonderful. She's wonderful. But… I need you to listen.” He cleared his throat to stop the croaking noise. “Goddammit, Steve just read it.” He shoved it towards Steve, his ears a bit pink wiping his face with his sleeve. Steve loved how he could tell when he was embarrassed by the tips of his ears, kinda like a dog.

Steve looked down at what now he could see was a letter, to him.

**_Steve,_ **

**_I really don’t know how to start this. I don’t even know if I’m going to give this to you. I probably won't. It’s kind of weird. Professor May said I should write, it would really help me get out of my head. Sometimes I just put things down on paper, and sometimes I write to people. I find myself writing to you. Things I eventually would like to tell you. Maybe not today, or the day you get this, but eventually. I think today I’m writing to tell you I’m okay. I feel okay, I’m happy most days and I finally feel like I have people who care about me, again. That is something I’ve missed dearly. I think you can relate a lot to being lost with all these people. When I escaped from Hydra, I didn’t even know who to go to. I went to the Ministry of Magic and they tried to send me to Azkaban. Thankfully, there a few people who realized a 12 year old probably wouldn’t be able to do any of those things alone. The things I was accused of- the things that they had proof my I- that Hydra made me do, it was insane. You can probably guess how._ **

**_I had to take a break. But I want you to know all of this. Moreover, to know how much you have helped me. You found me after my dark place, alone. I felt like letting everyone believe that was safest for them at first, then the people who did that to me went away. Then I realized that I was just making excuses to make myself feel less lonely. I really don’t want this to be sad, because it was me who inflicted these thoughts onto myself. I could have stood up tall like you, but I’m not as stubborn as you I guess. So thank you, for everything you have done Steve Rogers. Nothing I say can define my gratitude for being my friend, despite my exterior, my demeanor and my insistence on pushing you away. You broke me out of the person prison I punished myself to. You could pretty much murder all our friends and I’d still be convinced you had a good reason. I don’t think I could leave you until you killed me. That wasn’t supposed to be creepy. But I think you get it._ **

**_Thank you,_ **

**_Your friend always, Bucky._ **

Now Steve was definitely crying. He had almost held it together until he finished and looked up to Bucky’s eyes and they were so scared and hopeful and Steve was so overwhelmed. “Stupid this sounds like a goodbye letter or a suicide note!” Steve blurted, then seeing Bucky’s surprised expression he decided he needed a hug. More like He was so confused because I finally couldn’t hide that god damn he fucking loved Bucky Barnes, at this thought, Steve squeezed him harder. Who else who give him this note and watched him read it. This boy has steel balls and now that Steve’s thought that he can't get thought of sucking them out of his brain.

“Fuck.” He said aloud.

“What? You're so easy to read but I don’t know what to do when your crying?” Bucky said making Steve look at him who seemed to be having a minor Panic Attack. Steve was about 90% going to kiss him but then-

“HOOT HOOT” An owl magically flew into the room. How lovely. Totally not a mood killer. Stupid owls.

“That’s?” Steve said unsure whos owl it was. As it gently set down a package to Steve.

Steve opened it to find a Christmas cake from Sam.

Of fucking course. Sam, you're getting coal.

They decided that it was Christmas and they could have some for breakfast if they wanted. Steve put his presents away and walked Bucky to the Slytherin dorm to deposit his stuff they then made their way to the great hall for a real breakfast. There weren’t many students there but that was probably better because Steve was doing double time in his brain trying to sort out everything he finally couldn’t lie to himself about. He just was very convinced for many years nobody would love him, and with this big new body-it's confusing. He never really got around to the ‘self love’. But he thinks now that he was big, it was easier to love the small him. Easier to love both of them. His mother told him he wouldn’t be able to love anyone else until he found room in his heart for himself.

Steve was pretty sure he could do that.

Both.

“Steve?” Bucky’s eyes were blue as ever. Like a water bottle. That’s not romantic at all. Reminded him of hotel pools, or the way the world looked wonderous through the chlorinated water, or an Aquafina bottle. They were a bit red rimmed, and Steve was pretty sure his face was a mess, realizing he was balling his eyes out from his Best friend’s letter. Oh god they we’re best friends right?

“Yeah, I think we are.” 

“What?”

“Best friends? I kinda feel like we’re six talking about this,” Bucky mused.

“Wait, what about Natasha?”

“Well, she has Clint, and whatever they’re doing. Natasha is more like a sister than anything, nosy, demanding and she makes sure I don’t fall over.” Steve laughed but he kind of understood. Bucky had been getting better at communicating things or just talking in general. It was weird to observe that but Steve blames it on feelings at the moment because really he’s at his wit's end, and if that's not it, he might as well just be straight up, plain and crazy.

But he's not straight. So.

“Well then yes, I am pleased to take such an esteemed role,” Steve said making Bucky laugh. The sound made a bubbling feeling in his stomach. It was so pure.

The rest of the day progressed to the grand meal, which was ever so grandeur as any normal castle feast, except it was just a single table they all sat at eating with Headmaster Fury, Professor Coulson, and a few other students who stayed behind.

The rest of the break went really without them discussing any of it. Not the letter, the drawing or Steve’s sudden breakthrough in his own personal hell of liking his now official best friend. It was everything from the way he laughed at Steve’s bad jokes. To the way his eyes looked when the sky lightened to match the shade of blue in between all the clouds.

Steve wasn’t sure if Clint had done something, because Natasha seemed a bit peeved when they got back. Well, she was fine at first but when she talked to Bucky she seemed more irritable. Steve brushed it off as normal antics. Despite Christmas being so amazing, something felt adrift. Bucky hadn’t been staying as close, and had been interacting with people. He had almost become sort of popular. It made Steve’s stomach twist in the most sickening way. It took Steve about to week to figure out it was probably jealousy. By then he felt like he had been drifting from Bucky. Something was kinda weird, or wrong and he couldn’t put his finger on it. After all their mushy heart to heart bro to bro, Steve felt like he was ins square one where Bucky wouldn’t talk to him. Except before he didn’t talk to anyone. It kind of fueled the fire inside Steve even more. Bucky was allowed to have other friends, but Steve kind of just wanted them to have that sort of alone time they had over winter break. It seemed like he never saw him, and it was real agony because Bucky was a looker once he cleaned himself up (thanks to Thor’s guide to long hair with beards and Natasha checked that he wasn’t a literal mess every morning. Steve supposed Bucky could just be preparing for quidditch, Loki had them put in a nasty amount of hours. Since break was over because they only had a month to train before their big game.

The first big event after everyone returned was the Quidditch game, Hufflepuff Vs. Slytherin. Everyone had been waiting impatiently for this game, due to its two famous feuding captains. Steve decided that he’d support Slytherin and in return, Sam would support Hufflepuff for Clint, who was a beater on the team. This was the game of the season and stands we’re packed full. He could see wizard scouts for professional teams spectating. Thor and Loki are in their 6th year and would be 18 very soon, and Steve had a feeling the moment they turned of age, they would be swooped up by the best team in the league. Which one that was, Steve was a little lost on.

Steve could tell the stakes were higher than the Quidditch Cup and the game was intense. Sam said they were all playing like a professional Quidditch match. Despite the fanciful moves Thor was pulling, all Steve could stare at was Bucky. He managed to block every goal that wasn’t from Thor. Slytherin was in the lead, Loki was famous for seemingly vanish and then reappear across the field. He’d do anything like hiding behind the beaters or flying under other players, It was obvious their prime strategy was to make sure he did not acquire the quaffle, as their strongest player. This seemed to not be working very well. Their Seeker, unfortunately, was a stand-in, a small boy in his 3rd year named Peter Parker, and he seemed to be staying a little higher than Steve was, and very, very, far out of the way.

Steve turned his attention towards Bucky who cheered a bit as they scored another goal. The quaffle was making its way around the field again and the players zoomed by Steve decked out in green and silver and black. He could tell Bucky saw him, his eyes widened and his broom did weird twitching. Steve slightly nudged Natasha (If it was any harder she’d punch him), and She got Sam’s attention and they waved at Bucky as the quaffle was safely on the other side of the field. He winked with a two finger salute and focused back in on who had quaffle, which was quite easier as Professor Hill was commentating this match, due to Clint actually playing.

Natasha elbowed him and smirked at him. “What?” He yelled over the roar of Slytherin players when they scored another goal.

“Oh nothing, you know I bet seeing you decked out just for him made him very happy.” She mused, pretending to be inspecting her perfect nail beds.

“Well, of course, I’ll support my friends?” He said confused.

“Friends. Yes, Of course. Because you were so indifferent about who was to support Bucky vs Clint.” She laughed. Steve’s face went pink when he realized what she was implying. He was rather pushy saying that today he’d be supporting Bucky and Sam should equally dress up for Clint, not to make him feel bad. Just a little pushy. Sam seemed fine with it so he didn’t think anyone noticed. “Don’t worry, it’s really cute Steve to watch you like this. You really should just tell him how you feel.” She then picked up her banner that said ‘GO BARNES’ on it when he blocked another shot from a chaser. Steve turned to cheer too, making Bucky bursting with pride.

“Wha-what are you talking about Nat?” Steve managed to say after the roar died down.

“Are we going to play this game? Ugh, fine. OH, Steve, you seem very peculiar in your interactions with Bucky, could it be… possibly-”

“Alright I get it, cut it out.” Steve said, pretty sure his face was completely tomato red. “I- we’re best friends… I just don’t want to ruin this. I don’t want him to feel any less than he should.”

“Well, if you hurt him, Steve, you know well… my shovel talk is always best kept with a mysterious ending.” She winked. “But It’s up to you, I just don’t see how telling your very intimate best friend your in love with him,” Steve looked around to see nobody was listening, and Sam was up next to a group of Hufflepuffs trying to get them to stop singing a nasty, yet hilarious chant. “Would ruin you being best friends, I mean if you really we’re good friends, you could probably work through it? Also, don’t worry about Bucky, you’re the one I’m dropping you if all goes wrong.” She joked. At least Steve was pretty sure it was a joke.

He couldn’t really understand how Natasha knew, Steve was analyzing everything he did, and if it could be seen as ‘too much’. While this was happening he missed it when Peter Parker dove, that kid swooped around like he was on bungee cords, He Started doing this zig-zag thing, Steve was pretty sure it was because the Slytherin Seeker was closer to the Snitch than he was. Eventually, Peter zoomed at breakneck speed towards a small golden speck in the winter sun. Clint was right next to him, and hit a hard bludger away. It was a magnificent sight. And Peter pulled up at the last minute, scaling the wall in a loop then he helps up the snitch. That was it. Hufflepuff had won. Natasha ditched her sign and ran onto the field to go kiss her boytoy who probably was close to being recruited. Steve saw Bucky smiling, despite his loss, all the players were returning. Loki was fuming but kept his cool, talking to a few recruiters. His playstyle was too distinct to not land him a good deal.

Steve followed the crowd onto the field, trying to find Bicky, who’s Bun was now very messy and the hair was artfully hanging from it. He saw sweaty Steve couldn’t take his eyes off the droplets on his forehead. His very nice broom was standing next to them, glistening, the end of it looked as perfect as ever, even with all the blocks it had done. Steve thought about how splintered the bristles on his old broom was.

Bucky was explaining, high on adrenaline his tactics, and if Loki did not return for his 7th year- he did not know who’d be captain. By the time Steve fought the crowds, most the reporters were taking pictures of Thor or Natasha with her legs around Clint, making out. Little Peter Parker was still crowd surfing. Bucky had just finished up talking to a recruiter, who was saying something like work hard and he’d be in touch. Steve was ecstatic to see the naturally born smile on his lips, but when Bucky’s eyes met his. The Smile bloomed into the biggest grin, his eyes started sparkling like a muggle movie star and Steve felt so lost, yet sure of Natasha. Despite losing, the hype of such a large mach seemed to frazzle everyone. The staff had given up trying to get everyone off the field.

“You look really good in green.” Is all Bucky had said to him. Steve couldn’t help it. He surged forward, high on adrenaline like it was his match, the chaos of the crowd and he- he kissed him. He had grabbed his face and planted one on this boy right there in the middle of the crowd. Bucky’s eyes were very large when he pulled back, very big and blue and Steve knew then that he probably had fucked up majorly. He stepped back and Bucky said nothing, he just stood his mouth a bit ajar amongst the chaos. Someone had elbowed Steve in the side and Steve stumbled back a bit from him. “Steve.” He managed to say in a weird strained tone. Steve then stumbled further back. “Wait, Steve.” Steve was now running through the crowd and he knew he had fucked up. Like really fucked up because who just does that to his best friend. Who first of all, if anyone had noticed, outed himself and his friend, in front of the whole school, (despite nobody probably noticed, but that's not the point now, let him be dramatic).

Steve had this overwhelming feeling of guilt and that he took advantage of Bucky and all the hype. Steve got caught up in his head. Natasha has been wrong before (he thinks), and everything bad and scary was crashing down on him. A few students we’re trickling out of the stands and Steve rushed passed them. A few greeted him but he b-lined past them so they couldn’t see the tears. He saw Nat and Clint in a dark corner sharing a little more than a moment. “Steve?” She said, he only saw a glimpse of her face as she kind of kicked Clint off of her, in a ‘Natasha’ graceful, manor. “Steve whats wrong?” She said but he was already past her. And he really didn’t want her sympathy or judgemental tones.

“Steve!” Bucky shouted, reaching the entrance to the stands, where Nat and Clint we’re no longer tucked away in a corner.

“What did you do this time?” Clint said rolling his eyes. Nat elbowed him again.

“Bucky, what happened?”

Bucky looked at her with wide eyes,”He… he kissed me?”

“Took long enough,” Clint mumbled.

“And?” She said like she already had known that much.

“I froze? I couldn’t believe it was happening, I mean we lost but he was so- he kissed me!” He said surprised at his own words.

“You froze?”

“Yeah I uh, I should go find him.” Bucky, unfortunately, could not find Steve for the rest of the day. Because Steve Rogers is a stubborn son of a gun.

He also wasn’t at breakfast the following day and Bucky was beginning to doubt that Steve ever meant to do it in the first place. But bucky saw the drawing of Becca, so careful so full of- Love. Well, Bucky knew he loved this guy, and he’s actually finally worked up some confidence, so no. Steve Rogers, you don’t just get to kiss him and run away. The following day, Bucky was sure to be extra careful, eventually after dinner, he hid behind a tapestry Gryffindors had to pass in order to get by, and it worked perfectly. Steve looked like a wreck and Bucky felt so bad. He looked like his body was physically rejecting itself, red rimmed eyes, with dark circles under them. It was kind of ridiculous for Steve. Steve was never this kind of person so it made him feel very bad.

“Steve.” He said, voice hoarse with anxiety. Steve whipped around eyes wide. He was walking with Rhodey who signed a grateful sigh and went on ahead. He was probably worried about their upcoming game against Ravenclaw. They just needed a few more points and then they won the house cup.

“I guess we gotta do this eventually, huh?” Steve said like the world was on his shoulders.

“Steve…” He said now, of course, lost for words.

“Look, I really like you. Being your best friend is amazing and I love every bit of it, and in no way is this be saying your not enough, or doing enough. Bucky you’re amazing and… I love you.” His had was down, Bucky was unsure he’d ever seen Steve Rogers look so small.

He took Steve’s hands in his. He took a deep breath with his eyes closed, letting out as much of the anxiety eating away at his stomach as he could. “Steve Rogers you aren’t very smart.” Steve’s eyes darted up to him in shock, a bit hurt too.

“I’m not very… fluid socially. But I’ve been getting a lot better. I can talk to people, and I can actually interact as a human, thanks to you.”

“The moment you accepted me as your potion partner, the moment you stood up, and basically said so what? To me being a freak- I think I fell in love with you.” He squeezed Steve’s hand a bit, but he wasn’t done. “Everyday, I was too locked up in my own head to speak, to scared to interact, so far into my bubble, but you we’re so determined to see what little I’d allow. I felt like you we’re slowly breaking the locks I put on myself. Like all the sudden I was allowed to see, talk, and do all these things I had decided I couldn’t anymore. I thought maybe the letter I gave you would be a good clue. I rewrote it a billion times, because I always ended up making it confessional, and I wanted to know that you mattered to me before the love, before anything. You did something I could never repay, and be my friend when nobody else would. So you could never ruin that because I won’t let you. Because damn it Steve Rogers, I love you too much.” 

“We sound like a 90s muggle teen drama,” Steve said, Bucky smiled and kissed him. Kissed him like he should of kissed him back on the field. In truth, Bucky is the stupid one. He now wanted everyone to know that he got Steve Rogers, and he was off the playing board, for a very long time. Till death. That's a bit creepy but that's what it feels like to kiss this boy. Forever. Or eternity. God damn he was right they were cheesy as fuck.

But in that moment, It didn’t matter. They made out for a little too long, some first years came by and squealed when they saw them. Bucky turned and glared at the girls, who scampered by squealing. “That part of your fan club?” Bucky teased, Steve went a bit pink.

“I don't have a fan club.” He griped.

“So you understand right? Because after all that I’m not gonna let you run away, I can repeat myself ag-”

“I get it, I get it!” He laughed.

“You look pretty bad,” Bucky said, thumb moving over the bags under his eyes.

“You don’t look much better honestly.” He said and Bucky never really thought about how he looked. Usually, Nat fussed over him but he had been up thinking about this for the last week or so. Bucky laid his head on Steve’s shoulder, as they had now slumped down in the nook by the tapestry.

“Now that that's out of way-” Bucky joked, he received an elbow from Steve. “Hey!” He laughed. Steve loved hearing the laughed in his voice. He almost wanted to say it was because of him, but he wouldn’t take away all the hard work from Bucky. Bucky was the one that did all of that. He did it.

“I guess now all we gotta worry about his Hydra.”

“Oh yeah, that thing.” Bucky joked again. Steve was thinking maybe, Bucky had turned into a Jokester.

For Bucky’s birthday in March he got an owl. He used it to write love notes to Steve, poetry he’d read, some of his own. Steve would send back a drawing, where ever he was, whatever he was doing. Sometimes he heads to draw it with his wand and mud, but nevertheless, they went to the collection.

Gryffindor did indeed win the last Quidditch match, and thus the cup. Nobody was really sure how it was done, and the Hufflepuff’s demanded a rematch with their new speedy seeker, Peter Parker. Slytherin was indifferent, because Loki got what he wanted, which was a sign on to the British Quidditch team. Thor decided he was going to wait another year and attend Hogwarts for his 7th year. He then would join the Swedish national team. A few scouts talked to Steve, but Steve was looking for something maybe in the ministry. Ravenclaw students we’re still convinced their team was the best, just underserved.

Natasha and Clint we’re finally a thing. Natasha just announced it one day over breakfast, and Clint sprang out of his chair cheering because apparently, he didn’t know either. Bucky whispered something in her ear and she tinged a bit pink straightening her back nonchalant. She hissed at Clint to cut it out, but everyone was already staring.

Steve had not yet forgotten about his extra workload. Sam tried his best to help him work through it, but he was very distracted by the 4th year, Sharon Carter. She was the niece of a very famous witch, and therefore Sam was by her side. Everyone got a passing amount of O.W.L.s, including Steve who surprised everyone with how many he got. The only reason they all passed potions was because of Bucky, and his affinity. They had a party to celebrate, where Gryffindor dorm was open to everyone, and Clint and Peter Quill had snuck in a bunch of snacks and drinks. 

Finally, Steve loves Bucky, and Bucky loves Steve.

Bucky had a small apartment he rented in the summer in London. His mother knew the landlord, and Bucky does handwork and odd jobs. Steve draws and on his Birthday all his friends surprise him, and Steve feels like they’re one big family. That's what Hogwarts does he guesses. 

**Author's Note:**

> coughs. sorry not sorry for making Thanos a plot device. You see, It's not just to let the rest of my Infinity War RAGE out (I loved the movie dw), but like I thought it was utterly hilarious. I edited the heck out of this and you probably still found enough to tear apart my brain.  
> Tell me what you think, I will take it to heart, but that's okay I need to get over it.  
> Time to get back to finishing other things... yay cya.


End file.
